They’re BaaaaaAAaaaaaack!!

*Tonight’s Rant is Brought To You By Riddex and Fresh Cab*
They’re BAAAACK!
And here I, [Silly Me] thought they might be on Summer Vacation but NOOO.
PoopyPoopyPoopyPoopyPoopyPoopyPoopyPoopyPoopy
In My Cabinet.
PoopyPoopyPoopyPoopyPoopyPoopyPoopyPoopyPoopy
In My Sink.
You thought the Sugar Ants were annoying?
(I’d scream but my throat is too sore from this Goddamn Summer Cold I inherited from my Fellow Employees)
::Ahem::
A Mouse Tale.
(Rather, MANY Mice Tails!)
Regarding the Mouse Invasion and Various Deterrents…
It all started about last November:
[I Quote Myself]:
“Indeed I *AM* An Admirer of All Creatures Great and Small.
*However* (comma) MICE Do NOT Belong in My Kitchen!
Or Any OTHER Part of My House For That Matter!!!
So….We set out Mouse Traps.
The Mice said the Peanut Butter was Delicious.
They even left Thank You Notes in Morse Code Poops!
Happy Holidays…..Lla LLa Lla… ::SNAP::
So I’m standing by the Stove pouring some Seltzer when I hear *scurrying* INSIDE our Ancient Chambers Stove.
::SCURRY::SCURRY::SCURRY::
I stare at the Stove listening when ::DINK!!::
A little Gray Body with beady black eyes POPS out of the burner, STARES at me as I’m staring at *him*, and*JUMPS*, turns around, and scurries back into the stove as I finish pouring my seltzer.
So much for Fresh Cab. They think it smells lovely!
The Llittle Fucker has to be Cute, too. Bastard.
Re: The “Fresh Cab”.
You can hear the Sounds of the Country Mice Dancing around in my Chambers Stove, Squeaking out Holiday Carols and Celebrating the New Festive Fragrance of Fresh Cab as they Devour Morsels Fallen Through the Burners from Previous Meals!
We have old Wooden Cabinets and Ancient Formica Countertops in my kitchen and I noticed that the little Bastards had made their way in for the cold season, what with the tiny droppings and chewed up food containers.
So, I sent the husband to Amazon.com to buy a box of Fresh Cab, a FB Friend told me to give it a try since it was an earth-friendly, humane alternative (being half a hippie, not wanting to kill the little guys).
So $15 later, I placed a Pouch in my cabinet (they say 1 for every 8 square feet of contained space) and the other three provided in the box in various places mice might be munching…
A few days later I opened the cabinet to find that not only was there a whole new crop of turds, but they had eaten through a box of Oatmeal that one pouch of the Fresh Cab was propped against.
Now, how these things are supposed to work outdoors, in a tractor or a garage or RV is beyond me when they will not work in a tiny, enclosed indoor area. It seems that the mice really enjoyed the Holiday scent, and the Fresh Cab put them in the Holiday Spirit, because they ate through some Granola Bars, a CAN of Mandarin Oranges, the Oatmeal…Molasses…(Even a Styrofoam Apple on a Wreath stored in the basement was Evidently Delicious!) u
Just a few more Ingredients and they have the proper makings of a Nice Holiday Fruitcake!!
So much for Kindness.
Next: Nicely Wrapped D-Con Baits. Delicious.
Better Mouse Traps…Glue Traps….
For Now, we’re having a Winter Solstice Heat Wave, so the Invaders may have moved back outside, or at least to the Basement to munch on stored Garden Equipment.”

This was my Mouse Rant from Last November.
Now it is August, and I’m finding NEW sets of PoopyPoopyPoopyPoopyPoopyPoopyPoopyPoopyPoopy despite not hearing them or finding them in the Mouse Traps.
I have Riddex Plus thingies in every available outlet.
They *might* help (a little) with the Sugar Ants but the Mousies don’t give a crap.
CAN”T get a cat due to Four Dogs, Two Ferrets, Two Fish and a Senegal Parrot.
Just Shoot Me.
::Please Make A Note Of It::

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