2:36 AM 8/19/2014
I Can’t Stand It !
The Late Night Guilt-Trip Commercials!!
The ones that come on TV while you’re trying to relax or doze off…
They want to *Guilt* you into Donating.
Over and Over and Over again…
Abused Pit Bulls, One-Eyed-Three-Legged Cats,
Starving “Third World” Children…
Hey Listen, I Care!
*We’re* also trying to keep OUR Family’s heads Above Water!!
How ’bout that White-Haired-Bearded-Guilt-Guy donate HIS Fat Paycheck to those Poor Starving Kids?
How about HE take a few Kids and Cats and Pit Bulls home with him??
Spend the money used to MAKE these commercials and SEND IT to these “Rescue Organizations” and STOP giving Decent People Nightmares!
Gah. Don’t get me started.
Because we are Actually Good People, but OUR Family (and Actual Friends) Comes First.
It’s like Sam Kinison used to scream:
“You want to help world hunger?
Stop sending them food.
Don’t send them another bite, send them U-Hauls.
Send them a guy that says, ‘You know, we’ve been coming here giving you food for about 35 years now and we were driving through the
desert, and we realized there wouldn’t BE world hunger if you people would live where the FOOD IS!
YOU LIVE IN A DESERT!! UNDERSTAND THAT? YOU LIVE IN A FUCKING DESERT!! NOTHING GROWS HERE! NOTHING’S GONNA
Come here, you see this? This is sand. You know what it’s gonna be 100 years from now?
IT’S GONNA BE SAND!!
YOU LIVE IN A FUCKING DESERT!
We have deserts in America, we just don’t live in them, assholes!’ AAAGGHHH!”
And on TV you almost can’t avoid it.
I doze off watching Morgan Freeman informing us that We Humans must start looking for a way to live on other planets because Our Sun is inevitably going to get hotter & hotter & explode thus Incinerating Mankind, and that Our Solar System is going to be inexplicably sucked into a Black Hole, and the Sun will Explode,
and then wake I up to the same Damned Pathetic Abused Animals and Starving Third World Children commercials that drone on and on and on for a good five or six minutes…
Jesus Christ On A Green Elephant!
Sometime’s I donate to St. Jude’s when I’m at CVS and the cashier says “Would you like to donate to ST. JUDE’S CHILDREN’S HOSPITAL??” So I do.
Then the next time I’m like “Uh, I gave last time…” and then I feel guilty…again….
Kill Me Now…
2:36 AM 8/19/2014