A Night of Festive Vomiting and Public Urination 2014

::Ahem::
Hey Kids!
It’s That Time Again!!!
New Year’s Eve!
When Thousands Upon Thousands of Merrymakers and Other Cretins Gather in Times Square and Other Public Venues to Participate in Freak Shows that would Make the Ringling Brothers *Cringe* with Envy!!
What Could be Better than A Night of Festive Vomiting and Public Urination?
Sadly, This New Year’s Eve will Once Again Be Celebrated Without the Vocal Stylings of Our Beloved Dick Clark,
Who Shuffled Off This Mortal Coil in April 2012 at the Age of 82.
Even Sadder Yet, “New Year’s Rockin’ Eve” *Will* Be hosted once again by the Painfully Insipid Ryan Seacrest and the Equally Tedious Jenny McCarthy.
With any luck, perhaps Ryan Seacrest and/or Jenny McCarthy will Kick the Bucket in Time for the Festivities as well!
Or perhaps at least do the Collective World a Favor and come down with TWO cases of Laryngitis?
To make things More Interesting, I propose that *This* Year Instead of the Waterford Crystal Ball dropping from the Tower at One Times Square at Midnight to Ring in the New Year (Taking Advantage of both Science & Tradition),
the East Coast will be Ringing in 2015 with the Dropping from the Tower at One Times Square, at Exactly Midnight,
the Cryogenically Frozen Head of Our Beloved Dick Clark.
What??
Too SOON????
::Please Make A Note Of It::

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