Category Archives: Baseball And *Other* National Pastimes

It’s That Time Again Kids!

try-it-before-you-buy-it-flex-seal_9663632_ver1-0_640_360

::Ahem::
What’s up with these commercials touting FlexSeal as the Perfect Christmas Gift?
They even go so far as to show some Broad gleefully accepting a Festively Wrapped Can of the Liquid Rubber Spray like it was made of Gold.
“Hey this is GREAT! Now we won’t need to use those Pesky Condoms any more!
I’ll just spray this Shit up my Vagina and we’re Good to Go!”
And what better way to get your Annoying Right Wing Relatives to Shut the Fuck Up!
FlexSeal!
Say! It *is* an Awesome Gift!
::Please Make A Note Of It::

 

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Yay! It’s Back and Playable! Boston Marathon 2013 First Responder Tribute

Yay!
It’s Unblocked!
The Youtube Nazi Bastards had this Tribute (to the First Responders after the Boston Marathon Bombings in 2013) that my daughter recorded BLOCKED for several months in this country!!
Bastards!!

Weezer Formula 5 Does Not Exist…Yet!

If my Weezer, my Boston Terrier, had his Own Commercial for a Product I *Should* Invent.
Because I *Have* No Life.
(If you steal my Idea, at least give me credit.)

::My Brain Hurts:: IceBucket Challenge 8/29/14

Here ya Go John Warren and Nancy Hill!!!
I’d like to see…
A Cure for Amyotrophic Llateral Sclerosis (ALS), often referred to as “Lou Gehrig’s Disease”!
This here Bathtub drains into my Garden so NO water will go to waste!
John Warren and Nancy Hill,
This One’s For You!
My Brain Hurts!
Now NOTHING on the ALSA.org website says you HAVE to do this within 24 Hours!
However (Comma) I Hereby Challenge:
Right Broad Bonnie Russo, and Fellow Massapequan Musicians/Artist/CriminalsJim Lemanowicz, (Couzin) Tom Brzezinski and Gene Perone (Buddy Flip)
I’ll Tell Ya!
::Does Mahon Wave::
#IceBucketChallenge
http://www.alsa.org/

Broads At The Beach Do NOT Pee In The Water (At Least *I* Don’t!) Nor Do They Obey Signs

While at the Beach Sunday I felt the Urge to Pee.
Now, Unlike the Male of the Species (and Many Women as well),  I CAN’T Pee in the Ocean.
Nope.
Need the Ladies’ Room.
As did MANY other Broads, Chicks, and Children of Said Broads and Chicks.
Of Course there was a *Long* Line….
Because People Don’t Obey Signs.
The ones both OUTSIDE and INSIDE the Ladies’ Room (and I use the term “Ladies'” loosely) stating that there is a Lovely Large Changing Room(s) just around the corner, literally *Two Feet* away from the Aforementioned Rest Room.
Of Course, Broads went INTO the Bathroom in Bathing Suits and came OUT Fully Dressed while those of us who REALLY Needed To Pee waited…
And the Changing Rooms remained Unoccupied.
SO I said to the Little Broad (an Attendant, I Presumed, due to the fact that she was wearing a Shirt that said “Bradley Beach Staff”) sitting in a chair outside the Bathroom,
“Hey, since people are CHANGING THEIR CLOTHES in the BATHROOM is it OK if I go PEE in the CHANGING ROOM?”
She just looked at me, confused, and said,  “¿Què?”

Sign *Inside* The Broads' Llavatory. There Was One *Outside* (In Both English AND Spanish) As Well.
Sign *Inside* The Broads’ Llavatory. There Was One *Outside* (In Both English AND Spanish) As Well.

Which leads me to *this* Rant:
:: AHEM ::
Calling All Broads!

Why is it whenever I use a Public Toilet, I need to spend several minutes Cleaning the Toilet Seat because Broads feel it’s Necessary to “Hover”and Subsequently Pee All Over the Seat?
If every Broad who needs to pee would just sit down & pee like a normal female, there wouldn’t be piss all over the seat!!
(I know MY bum is clean!)
I’ve been Sitting Down to Pee since I was a Wee Tot (NO Pun Intended) and I haven’t Succumbed to Any Fabled (or Fatal) Toilet Diseases yet!
::Please Make A Note Of It::

Broads (And Dudes) *Not* Obeying Signs
Broads (And Dudes) *Not* Obeying Signs

Edgar The ButtUgly Betta

The Ugliest King Betta in the Store Looks Like A Suppository and He Wanted To Come Home With Me.
What Should I Name Him….??
You Can See His Innards Thru His Skin!
He Looks Like “The Baby” From Eraserhead!!!
Detachable Penis?
Elvis?
King Missile?
Eraserhead?
I Named Him Edgar (As In Edgar Winter)…
And, from certain angles, he really *does* look like a Little Penis!

The National Anthem (The Star Spangled Banner) At Yogi Berra Stadium June 12th 2014

Ariel Does Mom Proud!
(OK So She *Always* Does)
The Forecast for Game Night was:
*Rain*
Showers and Thundershowers Early,
Exactly On The Outdoor Event You Raised Heaven and Earth To Get The Night Off Work For.
Chance of rain 70%.
(However, The Deity of Our Choice was Kind and it didn’t rain until *after* the 5th Inning!)
Sung The Way It *Should* Be Sung!
(Play LOUD!)