Category Archives: Blunders

To All Those Who “Suffered” For The Past Eight Years

I hope everyone takes the time to read this.
Thank You Barry Silverman.
Reposted from a friend of mine:

A Drumpf supporting Facebook friend told Scott Mednick, “We suffered for eight years. Now it’s your turn.”

Scott wrote a brilliant response asking how exactly his friend had suffered under Obama:

“I am surprised you would wish suffering upon me. That of course is your right, I suppose. I do not wish harm on anyone. Your statement seems to continue the ‘US v THEM’ mentality. The election is over. It is important to get past campaigning and campaign rhetoric and get down to what is uniting, not dividing and what is best for ALL Americans.

There will never be a President who does everything to everyone’s liking. There are things President Obama (and President Clinton) did that I do not like and conversely there are things I can point to that the Presidents Bush did that I agree with. So I am not 100% in lock step with the outgoing President but have supported him and the overall job he did.
And, if you recall, during the Presidential Campaign back in 2008 the campaign was halted because of the “historic crisis in our financial system.” Wall Street bailout negotiations intervened in the election process. The very sobering reality was that there likely could be a Depression and the world financial markets could collapse. The United States was losing 800,000 jobs a month and was poised to lose at least 10 million jobs the first year once the new President took office. We were in an economic free-fall. So let us recall that ALL of America was suffering terribly at the beginning of
Obama’s Presidency.

But I wanted to look back over the last 8 years and ask you a few questions. Since much of the rhetoric before Obama was elected was that he would impose Sharia Law, Take Away Your Guns, Create Death Panels, Destroy the Economy, Impose Socialism and, since you will agree that NONE of this came to pass, I was wondering:

Why have you suffered so?

So let me ask:
Gays and Lesbians can now marry and enjoy the benefits they had been deprived of. Has this caused your suffering?

When Obama took office, the Dow was 6,626. Now it is 19,875. Has this caused your suffering?

We had 82 straight months of private sector job growth – the longest streak in the history of the United States. Has this caused your suffering?

Especially considering where he the economy was when he took over, an amazing 11.3 million new jobs were created under President Obama (far more than President Bush). Has this caused
your suffering?

Obama has taken Unemployment from 10% down to 4.7%. Has this caused your suffering?

Homelessness among US Veterans has dropped by half. Has this caused your suffering?

Obama shut down the US secret overseas prisons. Has this caused your suffering?

President Obama has created a policy for the families of fallen soldiers to have their travel paid for to be there when remains are flown home. Has this caused your suffering?

We landed a rover on Mars. Has this caused your suffering?

He passed the Matthew Shepard Hate Crimes Prevention Act. Has this caused your suffering?

Uninsured adults has decreased to below 10%: 90% of adults are insured – an increase of 20 Million Adults. Has this caused your suffering?

People are now covered for pre-existing conditions. Has this caused your suffering?

Insurance Premiums increased an average of $4,677 from 2002-2008, an increase of 58% under Bush. The growth of these insurance premiums has gone up $4,145 – a slower rate of increase. Has this caused your suffering?

Obama added Billions of dollars to mental health care for our Veterans. Has this caused your suffering?

Consumer confidence has gone from 37.7 to 98.1 during Obama’s tenure. Has this caused your suffering?

He passed the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act. Has this caused your suffering?

His bi-annual Nuclear Summit convinced 16 countries to give up and destroy all their loose nuclear material so it could not be stolen. Has this caused your suffering?

He saved the US Auto industry. American cars sold at the beginning of his term were 10.4M and upon his exit 17.5M. Has this caused your suffering?

The deficit as a percentage of the GDP has gone from 9.8% to 3.2%. Has this caused your suffering?

The deficit itself was cut by $800 Billion Dollars. Has this caused your suffering?

Obama preserved the middle class tax cuts. Has this caused your suffering?

Obama banned solitary confinement for juveniles in federal prisons. Has this caused your suffering?

He signed Credit Card reform so that rates could not be raised without you being notified. Has this caused your suffering?

He outlawed Government contractors from discriminating against LGBT persons. Has this caused your suffering?

He doubled Pell Grants. Has this caused your suffering?

Abortion is down. Has this caused your suffering?

Violent crime is down. Has this caused your suffering?

He overturned the scientific ban on stem cell research. Has this caused your suffering?

He protected Net Neutrality. Has this caused your suffering?

Obamacare has extended the life of the Medicare insurance trust fund (will be solvent until 2030). Has this caused your suffering?

President Obama repealed Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. Has this caused your suffering?

He banned torture. Has this caused your suffering?

He negotiated with Syria to give up its chemical weapons and they were destroyed. Has this caused your suffering?

Solar and Wind Power are at an all time high. Has this caused your suffering?

High School Graduation rates hit 83% – an all time high. Has this caused your suffering?

Corporate profits are up by 144%. Has this caused your suffering?

He normalized relations with Cuba. Has this caused your suffering?

Reliance on foreign oil is at a 40 year low. Has this caused your suffering?

US Exports are up 28%. Has this caused your suffering?

He appointed the most diverse cabinet ever. Has this caused your suffering?

He reduced the number of troops in both Iraq and Afghanistan. Has this caused your suffering?

Yes, he killed Osama Bin Laden and retrieved all the documents in his possession for analysis. Perhaps THIS caused your suffering?

From an objective standpoint it would appear that the last eight years have seen some great progress and we were saved from a financial collapse. Things are not perfect. Things can always be better. We are on much better footing now than we were in 2008.

I look forward to understanding what caused you to suffer so much under Obama these last eight years.”
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It’s That Time Again Kids!

try-it-before-you-buy-it-flex-seal_9663632_ver1-0_640_360

::Ahem::
What’s up with these commercials touting FlexSeal as the Perfect Christmas Gift?
They even go so far as to show some Broad gleefully accepting a Festively Wrapped Can of the Liquid Rubber Spray like it was made of Gold.
“Hey this is GREAT! Now we won’t need to use those Pesky Condoms any more!
I’ll just spray this Shit up my Vagina and we’re Good to Go!”
And what better way to get your Annoying Right Wing Relatives to Shut the Fuck Up!
FlexSeal!
Say! It *is* an Awesome Gift!
::Please Make A Note Of It::

 

::Ahem::
Asshole Party Frontrunner,
Billionaire “The Donald” AssHat Trump Lands at Mexican Border.
In Lower Left-Hand Corner, Government Hedgehog Attempts To Locate
The Bloated Megalomaniac’s Miniscule Genitalia Via Ultrasound As Bemused Local Officials Look On.
::Please Make A Note Of It::Asshole 2016

[Photo Courtesy Of The New Yorker]

The Republican Cesspool Of Presidential Candidates Plus One Belly-Flopper

::Ahem::
This Festering Pile Of Shit Who Wants to Own Everything
Is Belly-Flopping Into the Republican Cesspool of Presidential Candidates.
I Maintain that Asshat Trump’s Only Redeeming Quality Is That he Is Indeed,
Like Most Festering Piles of Shit,
Biodegradable.
Except for that Roadkill on his Head.
Every Time the Pompous Megalomaniac Opens That Festering Sewage Trap to Speak,
He Makes himself Less Credible as a Candidate.
Though I must Predict that Between Asshat Trump and Forrest Gump (aka Jeb!),
and the Rest of the Republican Cesspool of Candidates,
The Collective Comedy Writers of the Universe Are Anticipating Electoral Comedy Field Days.
::Please Make A Note Of It::
[Photo Courtesy Of The New Yorker]

[Photo Courtesy Of The New Yorker]
Belly-Flopping Into the Republican Cesspool of Presidential Candidates
[Photo Courtesy Of The New Yorker]

 

Portrait Of An Idiot

Portrait Of An Idiot (Don’t Try This At Home, Kids!)

::Ahem::
I Am So Talented,
I Managed To Give Myself A Black Eye.
See I had This Kind of Pimply-Like Thing Under My Eye…
And it was Really Annoying Me the Other Night….
So I figured I’d Perform Sugery..
Not Successfully.
There’s These Capillaries there you see…
So…
Yes.
I am An Idiot.
But Makeup and Reading Glasses help.
It Also Helps To Be Bi-Polish.
::Please Make A Note Of It::

I am An Idiot.  But Makeup and Reading Glasses help. It Also Helps To Be Bi-Polish.
I am An Idiot.
But Makeup and Reading Glasses help.
It Also Helps To Be Bi-Polish.

::Warning::

::WARNING::
In the Event of a Boehner That Persists Longer Than Four Days,
Citizens Should Seek Immediate Professional Help.
If House Republicanism Is Not Treated Immediately,
Brain Tissue Damage and Permanent Loss of Inalienable Rights Will Result.
::Please Make A Note Of It::

☼ AccuWhatTheFuck☼ Update!! French Toast Alert!!

::Ahem::
☼ AccuWhatTheFuck☼ Update!!
French Toast Alert!!
The Giant Green and White Penis Will Be Traveling Up The Eastern Seabroad as The Bi-Polish Vortex Continues On Its Merry Way
Through The Tri-State Region.
Starting Around 6:00AM, Large Chunks Of Snon and Ice Will Continuously Fall From The Sky Throughout Rush Hour and Into The Morning,
Mixed with Sleet, Rain, Frogs, Llocusts, Gnats, Blood, and John Boehner’s Unwashed BVD’s–
Especially Saturday Afternoon into Saturday Night.
The Greatest Amount of Snow, on the Order of 6-12 Inches,
Is Forecast Wherever You Are Going.
Upon Parking Outdoors,
Be Sure To Turn Your Windshield Wiper Blades Towards Heaven
To Avoid The Wrath Of The Higher Power of Your Choice.
Proceed at Speed Llimit Before Snow Starts to Nearest Supermarket to pick up Two Gallons of Milk, a Couple Dozen Eggs and Two Lloaves of Bread –
Per Person in Household.
And Butter!!
Don’t forget the Butter!!
Be sure to Make as Much French Toast as Possible,
Stockpiling Several Dozen Slices to Throw under your Tires for Traction for when the Town Plows finally come by Just as You’ve Shoveled Out Your Driveway and Plow You In!
::Please Make A Note Of It::
AccuWhatTheFuck Jan 24

: : Ahem : :
Upon Approaching a Single Occupancy Public Restroom and Discovering that the Door is Locked
(and the Person Inside says ” Occupied! “),
Please Safely Presume that It Is Indeed Occupied.
Do NOT Continue to Rattle the Door Handle and Pull on the Door.
Not only is this Rude and Stupid,
If you Continue To Do So
I will Open the Door and Shove Used Toilet Paper Down Your Throat.
::Please Make A Note Of It ::

The 12 Days of Shutdown- A Musical Rebuttal

Barely a month after the midterm elections, U.S. Congress is already threatening another government shutdown if Obama takes executive action.

A Music Major in College, my daughter Ariel responded the only way she knew how:
A Critical Response…via Song.
She wrote and recorded this at the request of her Co-Workers.
(She works part-time at a Democratic Fund-Raising Organization near Campus).

::WARNING::
In the Event of a Boehner That Persists Longer Than Four Days,
Citizens Should Seek Immediate Professional Help.
If House Republicanism Is Not Treated Immediately,
Brain Tissue Damage and Permanent Loss of Inalienable Rights Will Result.
::Please Make A Note Of It::

 

Tonight’s Rant

::Ahem::
::And Now For Tonight’s Rant::
Once Again, Just in Time for The Holiday Season….
We’re being inundated with Late Nite TV Ads for Useless Crap.
Again I Ask… (because they came out few seasons ago and they’re *still* trying to sell us this trash)…
What’s up with these Pajama Jeans they’re trying to sell us?
Seriously?
Forty Dollars for Glorified Stretch Pants?
Hell, I try not to pay that much for Real Jeans that Actually Look Good & Stay Up!
The Ads *should* say:
“Are You the Type of Broad who’s Totally Given Up on Life and Would Actually Go Out in Public Wearing Sweat Pants?
Then This Overpriced Crap is for You!
Act Now And Receive This Crappy Gray T-Shirt to Complete The Schlump Look!”
And…get this…they make this Shit for MEN now too!!!
Pajama Jeans For MEN!!!
As if Men actually NEED yet ANOTHER excuse to walk around looking like Slobs!
Really.
If you can’t Struggle to Get Dressed in Actual Clothing before Going Out In Public, then Stay Home.
Please.
::This Rant Has Been Brought To You By Miracle-Crotch::
::Please Make A Note Of It::