Category Archives: Uncategorized

To All Those Who “Suffered” For The Past Eight Years

I hope everyone takes the time to read this.
Thank You Barry Silverman.
Reposted from a friend of mine:

A Drumpf supporting Facebook friend told Scott Mednick, “We suffered for eight years. Now it’s your turn.”

Scott wrote a brilliant response asking how exactly his friend had suffered under Obama:

“I am surprised you would wish suffering upon me. That of course is your right, I suppose. I do not wish harm on anyone. Your statement seems to continue the ‘US v THEM’ mentality. The election is over. It is important to get past campaigning and campaign rhetoric and get down to what is uniting, not dividing and what is best for ALL Americans.

There will never be a President who does everything to everyone’s liking. There are things President Obama (and President Clinton) did that I do not like and conversely there are things I can point to that the Presidents Bush did that I agree with. So I am not 100% in lock step with the outgoing President but have supported him and the overall job he did.
And, if you recall, during the Presidential Campaign back in 2008 the campaign was halted because of the “historic crisis in our financial system.” Wall Street bailout negotiations intervened in the election process. The very sobering reality was that there likely could be a Depression and the world financial markets could collapse. The United States was losing 800,000 jobs a month and was poised to lose at least 10 million jobs the first year once the new President took office. We were in an economic free-fall. So let us recall that ALL of America was suffering terribly at the beginning of
Obama’s Presidency.

But I wanted to look back over the last 8 years and ask you a few questions. Since much of the rhetoric before Obama was elected was that he would impose Sharia Law, Take Away Your Guns, Create Death Panels, Destroy the Economy, Impose Socialism and, since you will agree that NONE of this came to pass, I was wondering:

Why have you suffered so?

So let me ask:
Gays and Lesbians can now marry and enjoy the benefits they had been deprived of. Has this caused your suffering?

When Obama took office, the Dow was 6,626. Now it is 19,875. Has this caused your suffering?

We had 82 straight months of private sector job growth – the longest streak in the history of the United States. Has this caused your suffering?

Especially considering where he the economy was when he took over, an amazing 11.3 million new jobs were created under President Obama (far more than President Bush). Has this caused
your suffering?

Obama has taken Unemployment from 10% down to 4.7%. Has this caused your suffering?

Homelessness among US Veterans has dropped by half. Has this caused your suffering?

Obama shut down the US secret overseas prisons. Has this caused your suffering?

President Obama has created a policy for the families of fallen soldiers to have their travel paid for to be there when remains are flown home. Has this caused your suffering?

We landed a rover on Mars. Has this caused your suffering?

He passed the Matthew Shepard Hate Crimes Prevention Act. Has this caused your suffering?

Uninsured adults has decreased to below 10%: 90% of adults are insured – an increase of 20 Million Adults. Has this caused your suffering?

People are now covered for pre-existing conditions. Has this caused your suffering?

Insurance Premiums increased an average of $4,677 from 2002-2008, an increase of 58% under Bush. The growth of these insurance premiums has gone up $4,145 – a slower rate of increase. Has this caused your suffering?

Obama added Billions of dollars to mental health care for our Veterans. Has this caused your suffering?

Consumer confidence has gone from 37.7 to 98.1 during Obama’s tenure. Has this caused your suffering?

He passed the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act. Has this caused your suffering?

His bi-annual Nuclear Summit convinced 16 countries to give up and destroy all their loose nuclear material so it could not be stolen. Has this caused your suffering?

He saved the US Auto industry. American cars sold at the beginning of his term were 10.4M and upon his exit 17.5M. Has this caused your suffering?

The deficit as a percentage of the GDP has gone from 9.8% to 3.2%. Has this caused your suffering?

The deficit itself was cut by $800 Billion Dollars. Has this caused your suffering?

Obama preserved the middle class tax cuts. Has this caused your suffering?

Obama banned solitary confinement for juveniles in federal prisons. Has this caused your suffering?

He signed Credit Card reform so that rates could not be raised without you being notified. Has this caused your suffering?

He outlawed Government contractors from discriminating against LGBT persons. Has this caused your suffering?

He doubled Pell Grants. Has this caused your suffering?

Abortion is down. Has this caused your suffering?

Violent crime is down. Has this caused your suffering?

He overturned the scientific ban on stem cell research. Has this caused your suffering?

He protected Net Neutrality. Has this caused your suffering?

Obamacare has extended the life of the Medicare insurance trust fund (will be solvent until 2030). Has this caused your suffering?

President Obama repealed Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. Has this caused your suffering?

He banned torture. Has this caused your suffering?

He negotiated with Syria to give up its chemical weapons and they were destroyed. Has this caused your suffering?

Solar and Wind Power are at an all time high. Has this caused your suffering?

High School Graduation rates hit 83% – an all time high. Has this caused your suffering?

Corporate profits are up by 144%. Has this caused your suffering?

He normalized relations with Cuba. Has this caused your suffering?

Reliance on foreign oil is at a 40 year low. Has this caused your suffering?

US Exports are up 28%. Has this caused your suffering?

He appointed the most diverse cabinet ever. Has this caused your suffering?

He reduced the number of troops in both Iraq and Afghanistan. Has this caused your suffering?

Yes, he killed Osama Bin Laden and retrieved all the documents in his possession for analysis. Perhaps THIS caused your suffering?

From an objective standpoint it would appear that the last eight years have seen some great progress and we were saved from a financial collapse. Things are not perfect. Things can always be better. We are on much better footing now than we were in 2008.

I look forward to understanding what caused you to suffer so much under Obama these last eight years.”
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Dear Mr. President

Out Of The Mouths Of Babes…

Buggy & Ducky On The Road

Dear President Obama,

My name is Declan West. I am 11 years old and live and travel around the U.S. in a 17 foot van with my mom & my poodle Princess.

Last week I went to a campsite with no phone or internet reception. When my mom and I left we turned on the radio and found out who won the election.I was really upset. I know I have to respect the position but I feel like I can’t respect him.I told my mom, “He hasn’t done anything yet; it’s what he has said that scares me.” She suggested I write to you.

I watched the first presidential debate and Mr. Trump was very rude, he interrupted and interjected while Secretary Clinton was speaking. Going off of what I have heard, he thinks that LGBTQ folk and Mexicans are bad. My Popsie is an American of Mexican…

View original post 159 more words

::Ahem::
Here’s an Idea for Random Social Media Outlet…
Write Your Deepest Thoughts on Sheets of Toilet Paper.
Take Said Paper, Wipe, and Flush.
“Follow Me On Shitter.”
::Please Make A Note Of It::

::Ahem::
Governor Chris “Krispy Kreme” Christie has Declared a State of Emergency in New Jersey:
Due to Winter Storm “Juno”‘s Imminent Blizzard Conditions, the Entenmann’s Trucks will be Unable to Deliver to the Governor’s Mansion as Scheduled.
Upon Discovering That the Driveway to His Favorite Dunkin’ Donuts is Plowed In and His Beloved Pizza Hut is Closed,
The Fat Bastard (oops I mean Governor) Announced:
“I encourage all New Jerseyans to use Every Caution as they travel today and to remain off the roads whenever possible so that our first responders and public safety officials can safely respond to these Emergency Situations, assuring that Stockpiles of Donuts and Pizza are Delivered to the Governor’s Mansion in a Timely Fashion. ”
He then added, “Get the HELL away from that Domino’s Car!!! That’s MINE!”
::Please Make A Note Of It::

Bend Over, Here It Comes!

French Toast Alert Giant White Suppository Update!!

¤ AccuWhatTheFuck¤
French Toast Alert Update!!
THIS Time A Giant White Suppository Will Be Traveling Up The Eastern Seabroad as The Bi-Polish Vortex Continues On Its Merry Way
Through The Tri-State Region.
So, BEND OVER, Here It Comes!
Before intensifying into a Major Winter Storm,
This Suppository will spread Disruptive Snow across the Llower Midwest and into the Mid-Atlantic through Sunday Evening.
Tonight:
Proceed at Speed Llimit Before Snow Starts to Nearest Supermarket to pick up Two Gallons of Milk, a Couple Dozen Eggs and Two Lloaves of Bread and Several Pounds of Butter Per Person in Household.
And Don’t Forget the Maple Syrup for Extra Traction!!
Be Sure to Make as Much French Toast as Possible,
Stockpiling Several Dozen Slices to Throw Under Your Tires for Traction for when the Town Plows Finally Come By Just as You’ve Shoveled Out Your Driveway and Plow You In!
Starting Around 6:00AM Monday, Large Chunks Of Snon and Ice Will Continuously Fall From The Sky Throughout Rush Hour and Into The Morning,
Mixed with Sleet, Rain, Frogs, Llocusts, Blood, and John Boehner’s Unwashed BVD’s–
Especially Monday Evening Throughout Monday Night.
The Greatest Amount of Snow, on the Order of 18-48 Inches,
Is Forecast Wherever You Are Going.
Upon Parking Outdoors,
Be Sure To Turn Your Windshield Wiper Blades Towards Heaven
To Avoid The Wrath Of The Higher Power of Your Choice.

::Please Make A Note Of It::

Bend Over, Here It Comes!
This Time It’s A Giant White Suppository!

☼ AccuWhatTheFuck☼ Update!! French Toast Alert!!

::Ahem::
☼ AccuWhatTheFuck☼ Update!!
French Toast Alert!!
The Giant Green and White Penis Will Be Traveling Up The Eastern Seabroad as The Bi-Polish Vortex Continues On Its Merry Way
Through The Tri-State Region.
Starting Around 6:00AM, Large Chunks Of Snon and Ice Will Continuously Fall From The Sky Throughout Rush Hour and Into The Morning,
Mixed with Sleet, Rain, Frogs, Llocusts, Gnats, Blood, and John Boehner’s Unwashed BVD’s–
Especially Saturday Afternoon into Saturday Night.
The Greatest Amount of Snow, on the Order of 6-12 Inches,
Is Forecast Wherever You Are Going.
Upon Parking Outdoors,
Be Sure To Turn Your Windshield Wiper Blades Towards Heaven
To Avoid The Wrath Of The Higher Power of Your Choice.
Proceed at Speed Llimit Before Snow Starts to Nearest Supermarket to pick up Two Gallons of Milk, a Couple Dozen Eggs and Two Lloaves of Bread –
Per Person in Household.
And Butter!!
Don’t forget the Butter!!
Be sure to Make as Much French Toast as Possible,
Stockpiling Several Dozen Slices to Throw under your Tires for Traction for when the Town Plows finally come by Just as You’ve Shoveled Out Your Driveway and Plow You In!
::Please Make A Note Of It::
AccuWhatTheFuck Jan 24

A Night of Festive Vomiting and Public Urination 2014

::Ahem::
Hey Kids!
It’s That Time Again!!!
New Year’s Eve!
When Thousands Upon Thousands of Merrymakers and Other Cretins Gather in Times Square and Other Public Venues to Participate in Freak Shows that would Make the Ringling Brothers *Cringe* with Envy!!
What Could be Better than A Night of Festive Vomiting and Public Urination?
Sadly, This New Year’s Eve will Once Again Be Celebrated Without the Vocal Stylings of Our Beloved Dick Clark,
Who Shuffled Off This Mortal Coil in April 2012 at the Age of 82.
Even Sadder Yet, “New Year’s Rockin’ Eve” *Will* Be hosted once again by the Painfully Insipid Ryan Seacrest and the Equally Tedious Jenny McCarthy.
With any luck, perhaps Ryan Seacrest and/or Jenny McCarthy will Kick the Bucket in Time for the Festivities as well!
Or perhaps at least do the Collective World a Favor and come down with TWO cases of Laryngitis?
To make things More Interesting, I propose that *This* Year Instead of the Waterford Crystal Ball dropping from the Tower at One Times Square at Midnight to Ring in the New Year (Taking Advantage of both Science & Tradition),
the East Coast will be Ringing in 2015 with the Dropping from the Tower at One Times Square, at Exactly Midnight,
the Cryogenically Frozen Head of Our Beloved Dick Clark.
What??
Too SOON????
::Please Make A Note Of It::

Boxing Day

December 26th: “Boxing Day”.
I always thought “Boxing Day” was when one Donned Ye Now Our Gay
Boxing Gloves and Whacked the Person of Your Choice Upside the Head.
Evidently I was Mistaken:
The Exact Etymology of the term “Boxing” is Unclear.
There are several Competing Theories, none of which is Definitive.
The European Tradition, which has long included giving Money and Other Gifts to those who were Needy and in Service Positions, has been Dated to the Middle Ages, but the Exact Origin is unknown.
In Britain, it was a custom for Tradesmen to collect “Christmas Boxes” of Money or Presents on the First Weekday after Christmas as Thanks for Good Service Throughout the Year.
This custom is linked to an Older English Tradition:
Since they would have to Wait on their Masters on Christmas Day,
The Servants of the Wealthy were allowed the next day to visit their Families.
The Employers would give each Servant a Box to take home containing Gifts and Bonuses, and sometimes Leftover Food.
Yay.
How Generous.
Meh.
I prefer *My* Version.
::Please Make A Note Of It::

Commercial Christmas Songs Cause Emotional Distress.

Commercial Christmas Songs Cause Emotional Distress.

::AHEM::
Commercial Christmas Songs Cause Emotional Distress.
Two Examples:
Frosty the Snowman befriends some kids, plays with them until they learn to love him, then melts (!)201802_10151282029814367_683441510_o
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, because of a Physical Deformity, is treated as an Outcast by his peers.
Does Santa look past Rudolph’s nose & respect him for the Sensitive Buck he is?
No.
Of course not!
Santa, the Fat Bastard that he is, has Rudolph guide his Bloated Carcass’s Overloaded Sleigh and the Eight other “Socially Acceptable Reindeer” through a Blizzard as if he were nothing more than a Giant Antlered Fog-Llight with Llegs & a Tail.
What kind of Message does THAT send to our Youth???
Way to go Santa.
::Please Make A Note Of It::

Commercial Christmas Songs Cause Emotional Distress.
Commercial Christmas Songs Cause Emotional Distress.