::A Friendly Reminder::
For Those Who Are/Will Be In The Boston/Somerville Massachusetts Area!!
Tonight’s The Night!
Friday The Thirteenth Twenty- Fifteen!!
My Daughter (*Your* Friend, Acquaintance, Cousin, Niece, Etc.)
Ariel Rubin (AKA *Rel*) Will Be Playing The Dinner Show at Cuisine en Locale!! Admission is Free! ::But:: Enjoy a Reasonably Priced Dinner, (Ariel hopes to be there around 6:30ish)
Tip the Waitstaff AND Your Entertainer, A Financially-Challenged College Student (that’s how she gets paid!! )!!!
::Ahem::
Here’s the Poop:
Last week, Ariel (my Daughter) went to see Amanda Palmer at a small concert in the Boston area.
She was there with a former High School buddy who knows someone in the opening band, thus, they were backstage during sound checks.
Amanda is real cool about being with fans; Ariel has met her on several occasions.
Ariel was playing one of her original compositions on the piano in the lounge before the show, AFP heard it and was very impressed.
The booking agent heard it as well and was so impressed that she offered Ariel work playing there.
Cuisine en Locale, that is…
So….
Ariel Sez:
“This Friday, I’ll be playing a dinner show at Cuisine en Locale in Somerville, MA.
If you live in the area, it’d be really great if you came out to support me 🙂 .
In honor of my playing at Cuisine en Locale on Friday,
I would like to once again remind you that I have a 4-track EP out on Bandcamp. I retitled the album “Yet Another Symbolic Album Title” because I wasn’t feeling the other one and honestly it was just an anagram to spell BUTT.
But please please PLEASE support me! All proceeds help to support me in paying rent and not starving. I believe in a pay-what-you-want policy, so every bit helps.” https://relr.bandcamp.com/album/yet-another-symbolic-album-title
::Please Make A Note Of It::
Barely a month after the midterm elections, U.S. Congress is already threatening another government shutdown if Obama takes executive action.
A Music Major in College, my daughter Ariel responded the only way she knew how:
A Critical Response…via Song.
She wrote and recorded this at the request of her Co-Workers.
(She works part-time at a Democratic Fund-Raising Organization near Campus).
::WARNING::
In the Event of a Boehner That Persists Longer Than Four Days,
Citizens Should Seek Immediate Professional Help.
If House Republicanism Is Not Treated Immediately,
Brain Tissue Damage and Permanent Loss of Inalienable Rights Will Result.
::Please Make A Note Of It::
Yay!
It’s Unblocked!
The Youtube Nazi Bastards had this Tribute (to the First Responders after the Boston Marathon Bombings in 2013) that my daughter recorded BLOCKED for several months in this country!!
Bastards!!
So it ThunderHailed last evening, and I recorded a bit of it on my Brilliant Phone from my Bathroom Window.
Then I posted it directly to AssBook but I didn’t care for the quality.
However, someone noticed a “river” flowing thru my garden in the video clip, and I thought of this piece Ariel plays, so I did a thing with Windows Movie Maker.
Here’s the original video of Ariel from Summer 2012, and my video from last night.
Hope you like.
The “Original”
Summer Recital August 2012 / River Flows In You
“My” Video:
Thunder Hail River Flows In My Back Yard May 23 2014
Thunder Hail River In My Back Yard.
Pretty Much What It Is.
Recorded On My Really Brilliant Phone.
From My Third Floor Bathroom Window.
Ariel Victoria Rubin (My Offspring) on Piano, her friend Benton Murray accompanying on cello; Ariel’s arrangement of Yiruma’s River Flows in You recorded at the Steinway Piano Gallery in Paramus, NJ.
::Attention Baseball Fans:: Come Out To Yogi Berra Stadium on June 12th to see Montclair’s own Ariel Rubin sing “The National Anthem” As It *Should* Be Sung! (Plus, the Jackals will be playing Baseball…) Here’s the Audition Video she submitted that landed her a Spot. ::Please Make A Note Of It:: ::No Pun Intended::
::Ahem::
The Six Buttholes Diner.
Lousy Overcooked Burgers, Cold Curly Fries, and Lousy Service.
Who Can Ask for Anything More?
I love to watch the Montclair High SVPA Kids perform.
As an Obsessive Alumni Mom, (my Daughter is now in College) I would try to make every performance my kid was in.
We still attend the Showcases and Musicals! Love these Kids!
The only downfall of this obsession, however, is the fact that there is no time for a proper dinner before performances, and, as a rule, the kids go to the diner for a late supper and camaraderie afterwards. The problem is the Closest Open Diner: The Six Brothers Diner on Route 46.
It would more aptly be named “The Six Assholes Diner” or “The Three Stooges Diner”.
For a place of it’s size & location, you’d think they’d hire Kitchen Staff with a Mental Capacity higher than that of a Radish.
Gotta love it, though…No matter how you order your burger, it will be Well Done.
My husband, a Chef with over Thirty Years experience himself, orders his burger RARE. RUNNING AROUND MOOING RARE.
It arrives… Well Done Every Time.
OK then.
Idiots.
One time I figured I’d keep it simple.
So I ordered a Grilled Swiss with Bacon & Tomato on Whole Wheat.
What did I get?
Twenty minutes later I was presented with a Grilled American. Not Swiss. No Bacon. No Tomato.
When the Burly Waitress finally returned, I pointed out the error & she took my plate back to the kitchen & returned with a Swiss Cheese & Bacon Sandwich.
The Swiss was NOT even melted. No Tomato.
How to you screw up a Grilled Cheese Sandwich? It was downhill from there.
It you do have the misfortune of visiting this alleged Dining Establishment, be careful not to order any Exotic Condiments such as Sour Cream with your Reheated Cold Sweet Potato Fries.
Actually, I’d originally asked for a Monkey Dish of Greek Yogurt.
After all, this *is* a Greek Diner, is it not?
So of course the Beastly Waitress looked at me as if I had two heads & informed me that they didn’t have any Greek Yogurt.
So I asked for a small dish of Sour Cream instead for my Over-Re-Cooked Sweet Potato Fries.
Several minutes later I was informed they had to go downstairs to procure this Precious Sour Cream, and what seemed like a Lifetime after that,
the Beast returned with a small cup of what appeared to be Reconstituted Spackle.
[Hey! Great! I can fix this hole in the wall over here….]
Ah yes. The Six Assholes Diner.
Lousy Food, Awful Service, and Inflated Prices; Surly, Misshapen, Cretinous Waitstaff…What more could you ask for?
Too “Gourmet” for me…and so it’s off to the bathroom for me as I’m still feeling the effects of last night’s Six Douchebags Diner Fiasco…
Ariel Victoria Rubin, aged 19, *is* Paulette Bonafante.
This here is sort of an experiment…
Due to my Particularly Lousy Camera Work, (I was trying not to disturb the audience by covering my viewing screen while sitting behind a Giant Head), I only managed to get *parts* of the scene on video, though I thought the audio came out well.
BUT since I had a bunch of photos that other family & friends made public, I figured I’d splice them in for a sort of Stop-Action thing.
Here’s the result!
(Greek Chorus)
Look at my ass, look at my thighs
I’m catnip to the guys
They chase my tail, they drool and pant
Wanna touch this but they can’t
No, all the boys want to come and play
Snap my fingers and they obey
Why do they follow me ’round all day?
Watch me while I walk away
I bend and snap, feel how hot it’s gettin’
Bend and snap, then when you got ’em sweatin’
Spring the trap, they cheer and clap
No tight end can defend ‘gainst the bend and snap!
(Paulette)
Oh, that’s easy for you to say!
(Greek Chorus)
And you!
Girl, if you wanna make the team make some self-esteem
The more you jump around and scream the sexier as you seem
(Paulette)
Please, sorry girl, that ain’t how I play this wouldn’t work if I tried all day
I gotta go get my asthma spray, watch me while I walk away
(Greek Chorus)
No wait before you walk away
Just bend and snap, ow, look how good you’re gettin’
Bend and snap, I’m bettin’ right now you sweatin’
Spring the trap, they cheer and clap
So depend on your friend, c’mon an’ bend and
(Elle)
It’s not the time to overthink
Just try it once he’ll buy you a drink
(Mousy Girl)
Excuse me, would you teach me that?
I’m tired of living alone with my cat
Sure!
(Stylist)
Nowadays I do dye jobs and curls
But here is how we did it in the Laker girls
(Greek Chorus)
Look, do it and we’ll go away
(Paulette)
Okay, okay, okay, okay
Bend aaaand SNAP!
(Guys)
DAMN!!!!
(Paulette)
Hey, wait a second when I beckoned
Look how the guys came runnin’
Like I’m chicken finger lickin’
Like I’m friggin’ wicked stunning
Will you pay for stuff I buy?
Yes!
And bake me cake and pie?
Yes!
And hold me when I cry?
Yes!
Yes, and I will tell you why
Why?
I’m too rockin’ to lock away
All the boys come to dock away
Droppin’ jaws from a block away
Watchin’ how I walk away
(Guys) We love to watch her walk away
(Paulette)
I bend and snap
Now, look how hot it’s gettin’
Bend and snap
I bet right know you’re flirtin’
Spring the trap, they cheer and clap
I depend on my friend
[Go Paulette, go Paulette]
I depend on my friend
[Go, go, go Paulette!]
I depend on my friend for the bend and snap
Bend and snap!
Bend and snap!
Bend and snap!
Bend and snap!
Bend and snap!
Bend and snap!
Bend and snap!
I’m gonna get me some Kyyyyyle…!
(Sees Kyle, screams)
Paulette, did I leave my stylus?
Bend aaaaaaand snap!
Oh, crap!
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Ariel Victoria Rubin, aged 19, *is* Paulette Bonafante, the Beautician with a Heart of Gold, in CMT’s Production of Legally Blonde The Musical. (She’s also My Brilliant Daughter)
[Sorry for the Particularly Lousy Camera Work, I was trying not to disturb the audience by covering my viewing screen while sitting behind a Giant Head.]
Here Ariel sings the “East End Version” lyrics in her Act One showstopper, “Ireland.”
According to Legally Blonde writers Laurence O’Keefe and Nell Benjamin, the lyrical change was first made for London audiences.
“The interesting thing about ‘Ireland’ and London, [is that] it’s originally written for this woman who really romanticizes the country and the concept of Ireland, which she knows nothing about,” Benjamin said. “This is not something that resonates so much in England. They do not romanticize Ireland.
They seem to be rather afraid of it, in fact.”
O’Keefe added, “We had this wonderful actress in London, Jill Halfpenny, she’s fantastic [and] she’s smart. She comes across as wise in a way. We worked with that a bit and said ‘This is a wised-up person.’ The American version of Paulette turned out to be a person who was still, in many ways, deluded.”
According to Benjamin, “It’s not so much that she’s just in love with the country, [it’s that] that Irish men do something to her. In the new version she was told by her grandfather, who she obviously trusted, that Irish men were the best in the world. So she never goes and looks up Ireland, because she believes what she was told and she has this dream.”
While the duo initially thought the rewrite would be specific to the London production, Benjamin said, ” As it turned out, cracking it open really led us to a wonderful direction with the character, so much so that we then wanted to put this version in the tour….”
And so, current productions such as this favor the ” London Version”, and Rightly so!
Love!
You’re lost without your love.
Your heart is on the floor.
I can help you, I been there before.
When I need to relax,
I just put on some tracks
From this CD I bought for the store.
Isn’t that relaxing? It’s called “Celtic Moods.”
See my mom was three quarters Italian,
And my father I never knew.
But my grandfather came from…Ireland!
The land where dreams come true!
ELLE (dubious)
Ireland?
PAULETTE (confident)
Ireland!
He said all Irish men are like heroes.
They’re descended from poets and kings.
So I swore I’d get married in Ireland,
In a wedding like Lord of the Rings.
And my redheaded groom: I could see ‘im!
As we stroll past the churches and farms,
He’s a sailor named …Brendan! …or Liam!
He can dance without movin’ his arms.
In a bar once I met this guy Dewey.
And he bought me like fourteen beers.
And he told me that he was from Ireland.
And I lived with him ten years.
And my wedding? He kept on postponing.
Still I followed him ’round, in a fog,
Til he left with some skank he’d been boning,
Took my savings and took my dog.
My grandfather shoulda just shut it!
Ev’ry story he told me steered me wrong.
All the dreams that he gave me got gutted.
All that’s left is this weird Enya song.
But hey, you should not give up on Ireland:
Just be careful you don’t get played.
And don’t drink til you’re tearing your top off,
And you flash the St. Patrick’s Day Parade.
See a smart girl like you has a future.
You have hope, as each new day dawns.
Girls like you always get to see Ireland.
Send my love to the leprechauns.
PAULETTE
(spoken) Elle, if a girl like you can’t win back her man,
then there is no hope for the rest of us! You go and you fight for him!
(sung) The Irish fear nothing and no one
They keep fightin’ ’til everyone’s dead
I’m not sure where this metaphor’s goin’
I just felt like it had to be said
There’s a guy at that party who loves you
Something most of us only dream of
You go out there and you get some Ireland
The country of whiskey and love!!!
* FAIR USE NOTICE *
“Copyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for “fair use” for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use.”
Hello Missez Premise! 